Sometimes you won’t always get to explain your side of the story, and that has to be okay.
I was accused of being the other woman.
I used to play coed volleyball and was friends with one of the male players. We texted off the court – not a lot, but over the course of many months, it could seem like a lot when looking at them in one sitting.
He emails me one morning and says; Heads up, my wife found our texts.
I replied; Is there anything you want me to do? How can I help?
Then his wife emails me. She accuses me of wanting to be with her husband. He had completely thrown me under the bus saying it was all me. I was the one reaching out to him. He was just being nice.
I responded; I’m sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding. Would you like to meet? I’m happy to do whatever I can to help you feel more comfortable.
Apparently, she didn’t like that, because she responded and got even meaner. She started attacking my looks, my character – saying anything that would hurt me. “I knew when I first saw you that you were no good…“
I was hurt. I cried and talked to my husband about it. I asked if he wanted to read the texts and he said; No. I don’t need to.
He knows me. He trusts me.
At the end of the day, there was nothing I could do. Why would she believe me over her husband?
Not being able to explain my side of the story and clear my name was hard, but that’s just the way it goes sometimes.
But I had to find my own healing
One way I do this is by looking for the silver linings. When looking back, I could see 3 positives that could help me move forward.
- I was proud of myself for staying kind when she got mean.
- I had compassion for her because I don’t know what she’s been through in relationships to react this way.
- I ended up leaving volleyball (which I was thinking about doing for a long while) and started salsa dancing. This led me down a whole new path in life that awoke a joy I didn’t know was missing.
While we can’t always fix situations, we can learn from them.
Reflecting on how you handle situations and looking for the silver linings are powerful tools for healing that I use for myself and in my work with women.
You see, when you stay true to your values you’ll get through anything, and can hold your head up high with pride.
Because the truth is – if you know yourself and your worth, other people won’t be able to tear you down. And the ones who truly know you and your character will stay by your side.
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