The people who are most confident in their abilities and strengths often have a history full of overcoming obstacles. They’ve managed to use their experiences as lessons instead of using them as excuses to quit.
These people aren’t special or possess unique powers of resilience. They’ve simply changed the way they look at things. They harnessed their power of perception to tell a story of empowerment instead of one of defeat.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change?” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
In a sense, this is a superpower. To be able to shift your perspective is not always a simple task. It takes introspection, practice, and time before you’re able to trust that things are working out for you. How do you know? Because when you look back at your life, you see that they always have.
Everything you’ve been through has shaped you into the person you are today. This includes both positive and negative life events. No matter what you’ve been through, you can always find a silver lining.
I’d like to offer you a way to work through this process of shifting your perspective on memories that stick out. We’ll go a little deeper into what’s shaped you, the false beliefs that resulted, and what you’re proud of about who you are today.
Part 1: What shaped me
I’ll walk you through a mini version of this 3-part series, which was taught at the May 2022 Fearless Spirit Retreat.
First up, memories.
Memories are an interesting thing. You never know which moments will stand out and make an impact on your life. A pivotal moment in your life may not even be remembered by the ones who played a part, but that’s okay. This is about you and your healing journey, no one else’s.
Let’s look back at the experiences that stand out for you. You’re going to let your subconscious do the choosing for the memories you’ll work with today.
Exercise: Set a timer for 5 minutes and write down all the memories that come to mind. Don’t filter them out – just write.
Part 2: What I believe
When you dissect a self-limiting belief, it can often be traced back to a particular experience or moment in your history when the seed was planted.
Don Miguel Ruiz often talks about the stories we tell ourselves, and how they’re only true if we choose to believe them.
“Why do you believe some stories you tell yourself and not others? Are these stories based on fact, or are they just an opinion? Would other people believe the stories you tell about yourself if you told them?”
Undoing these self-limiting beliefs will take time and practice, but it is very doable.
Exercise: Look at the memories that surfaced from part 1 and identify the events and/or people that shaped a belief you have even if it’s not true. Next, let’s challenge the beliefs that may be holding you back. For each one, ask the following questions:
- Is it true? Who says it’s true? Why is it true?
- How do I perpetuate these beliefs?
- How have I disproved them?
Part 3: Who I’ve become
With every experience you have, you learn something. Whether it be about yourself or about other people, there’s always a lesson. Life is an ongoing class of self-discovery. Some lessons are obvious, while others may take time and distance to gain perspective.
One of the ways I make sense of things is by finding the silver linings in the harder times. I know it’s easier to have gratitude and appreciation for all of the good times, but finding the silver lining in the events that may not have been enjoyable is one way to shift your perspective and see how life is always working in your favor.
By taking inventory of how life has worked out for you in the past, you’ll be able to hold faith during times of struggle, trusting that it’s happening for a reason. You’ll trust it’s meant to be part of your story of evolution, even if you don’t understand why it’s happening.
Exercise: Let’s find your silver linings and how they’ve helped you become who you are now. Use your answers in parts 1 & 2 when working through the following questions:
- What did I do well in each situation? What am I proud of?
- How did I grow from each experience? What did I learn about myself?
- What am I grateful for in these experiences?
Bonus: Adding art into the healing
At the May retreat, we worked through this 3-part series over multiple workshops, but we added intuitive painting into the mix.
Adding color and creativity to the inner work process is a potent pairing. It gives your mind and hands something to focus on while you allow yourself space to work through your emotions. It helps you get into a flow state, which is when your intuition can be heard.
Watch how our projects evolved below!
Intuitive Painting – Where it started.
Initial layers of journaling, painting, and stenciling
Where it ended.
Moving imagery and color around the piece and adding all the little details.
Next, we cut the paper & rounded the corners to prepare them to become our “I Am Affirmation Cards.”
Each student chose their own colors, words, and designs, making their card decks truly their own.
We used our answers from the journaling questions in part 3 to honor the parts of us we love.
Despite going through tough situations, and while we’re still working through our limiting beliefs, we see how everything has prepared us for this moment.
We see how our lives have unfolded in all the right ways, helping us to gain trust in our current struggles. We trust because we know we’ll find the silver lining and learn the lesson that will help us evolve into the next version of ourselves.
