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This past August marked 16 years since I married Kevin, my love. The past year and a half were probably the most trying in our marriage so far. Fortunately, we’ve both been open to a lot of communication and introspection on our challenges. 

I’d like to share what we’ve learned through it all:

1. There is more to life than being productive. This specifically speaks to the voicing of what you’re feeling in any given moment. Sometimes we feel that if we expressed what we’re feeling it won’t serve a purpose… That it won’t be productive because the outcome may not change. Herein lies my point. Your feelings matter.Don’t discount them. This is what make you special, and unique, and colorful, and maybe even a bit unpredictable. That’s all ok!  

2. Emotions are a necessary element to bring to a relationship. You can’t think your way through life all the time. Emotions can be messy, and they don’t always make sense, but it’s important to express them all the same. 

3. The mind-body connection is vital. Our bodies are speaking to us all the time, and when we are aware of its signals, we can use its wisdom to guide us in our decisions. I noticed that when I would think about what was bothering me, it wasn’t until I voiced my thoughts aloud, or wrote them down, that my body reacted. I remember bursting into tears, and this was my body’s way of telling me that what I just said was MY TRUTH, and I couldn’t deny it any longer. 

4. A lack of mutual interests will not ruin a marriage. A lack of bringing your WHOLE SELF will. You need to show up fully to your partnership. This means your mind, this means your body, this means your emotions, this means everything. If you are holding anything back, it’s not a true partnership because there will always be something missing.
After this past year and a half, I can confidently say that Kevin and I are doing really well. We continue to peel back the layers that make us individuals, and we are finding ways to support each other through loving eyes. 

Kevin continues to be the best partner I can ask for. He’s willing to do what it takes to make us stronger, and he is a man of his word. I love his heart, and his kindness. He loves me the way he knows how, and I accept it. It doesn’t mean we can’t strive for improvement along the way, but it does mean to love each other as we both try our best in each moment.


Lulu + Kevin

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