I remember one of the hardest realizations I’ve had in my marriage so far.
No one told me that some couples have few common interests, and that’s ok.
I thought we’d love the same things, want to go on the same type of adventures, and spend endless hours together having my kind of fun.
I was naive.
Just because you share a life and family with someone, doesn’t mean you’ll share the same passions.
So many of us romanticize relationships. Maybe Hollywood plays a part, but we think our perfect partner will be just like us.
I heard a talk that said men looking for relationships are looking for someone to fit into their lifestyle. They don’t leave room for their partner to be their own person and have their own interests. I doubt this is limited to men though.
When it comes to a long-term partnership, you have to take into account what you need, what your partner needs, and what the family needs as a whole. This is a juggling act that causes many women to sacrifice themselves.
For years I had a desire to learn how to salsa dance. I didn’t know why – maybe because I’m half Colombian and something in my blood was calling to me.
I had to decide; deny this inner call because my husband didn’t want to go with me, or step into the unknown and go out alone.
I chose me.
In doing so, I awoke a joy and passion inside that I didn’t know was missing!
My husband doesn’t love that I go out dancing – and to be fair, I was a bit obsessed with it for a couple of years – but he knows it’s more than a hobby. It’s part of who I am.
A true partner wants the other to be happy, even if it doesn’t include them. Kevin’s taught me so much about what it means to be a loving and supportive partner, and what it means to grow through one’s own discomfort.
However, discomfort can’t be avoided.
There are times within marriage that you have to choose yourself and your own happiness.
Do I wish I could share the joy of dance with Kevin? Yes. Absolutely. But instead, I get to share that experience with friends I’ve been blessed to meet from here & around the world, and that’s a beautiful thing too.
Today we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I don’t even recognize the woman I was 20 years ago, but my guy loves me all the same. He’s been my teacher in letting your partner flourish and fly. He’s my safe place to land, keeping me tethered to what matters.
We’re 2 separate people who’ve chosen to live alongside each other. Sometimes we venture out together, while other times we play in the world on our own. This adds color to our lives as individuals, making our time together even more precious.
“During a time of intense grief, it was time for healing. I wanted to get away to focus on me. I was shown your retreat and I jumped at the chance.
I de-stressed within hours of arriving. I haven’t felt so calm for years. It helped me realize who I really am.
I love working with you, Lulu, because you listen intently and have a beautiful, loving spirit. I am impressed with your calm spirit, artful dance, and talented creations.
From the warm white sand, crystal blue water of the Gulf, the gorgeous community, the art studio, screened-in porch for ‘circle’ and intuitive dance; to the calm and healing energy from both Lulu and retreat home; you’ll get what you need for your soul.
I didn’t expect to leave the retreat with new friends, new soul sisters whom I can reach out to at any time and they know ‘who I am.’ “- Dawn R.
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